Investment Returns In One Year: Gold 28%, Silver 80%, Crude 40%, Sensex 35% & ONION 880%, Kaash.. Ek Quotes

Investment returns in one year:
Gold 28%,
Silver 80%,
Crude 40%,
Sensex 35%
&
ONION 880%,
Kaash..
Ek Lakh ke Pyaaz liye hote
to NEW YEAR ke liye Europe me hota..

A little boy who wanted 100 rupees.
He decided to write a letter to God .
When the postal authorities received the letter to " God "
they decided to send it to President.
The president was so impressed, touched, and amused
that he instructed his secretary
to send the little boy a 50 rupees.
The little boy was delighted with the money,
and immediately sat down to write
a thank you note to God which read
"Dear God , Thank you for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason
you had to send it through New Delhi, and as usual,
those people deducted 50 rupees."

Teacher: Beta, bataao to "TAMSO MAA JYOTIR GAMAYA" shlok ka kya arth hai?
Student: Tum so jaao maa, main JYOTI ke paas jaa rahaaa hun....

2 seater helicopter crashed on a kabristan in Punjab.
Next day's news: Punjab mein hawaai jahaaz gira,
250 laashe dhoond nikali gai hain, aur talaash jaari hai.

Yamraaj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li to
Chitragupt ne poocha ki isko waqt se pehle kyon maara..
Yamraaj bole,
"Month end mein target jo poora karna hai.."

Motorist: Say, this darned car won't climb a hill!
You said it was a fine machine!
Dealer: I said: 'On the level it's a good car.'

Kal raat chand dekhney ke baad mainey chand se pucha ki
dekha meri 'jaan sa haseen' chand ne kaha:
Pehli gal: inni doroo kuch disda nahi.
Duji gal: mein tuhade pio da naukar nai .
Teeji teh akhri gal: ae KANJAR - KALESH thalle hi rakheya karo,
mere kol leke na aya karo.